Message That'll Stick to YOUR Innards---Change From the Inside to the Outside
OR: The Lesson of Cool Hand Luke
by
Swami Bob,
(and his alias
Robert Farmilo)
Going back a few decades...1967 or so, and I think I went to the old Capital Theatre, in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, to see this film staring Paul Newman and George Kennedy.
The film?
Cool Hand Luke.
Yes, Suh.
'Dat Film.
'Wid 'dat iconic line, "Wha' we have here is a failure ta communicate."
Along my journey, I done did a lot of different types of jobs. And some of 'dem 'dere jobs been for the boss-man.
Now 'dat boss-man, he gots himself a place, see? And he ain't gonna be sharin' 'dat place wid nobody but himself, see?
And to keeps it 'dat way, he gonna make shure you unnerstan' real clear --- like 'dat famous crystal --- whud exactly is 'da power structure.
Enough of the cute attempt at White Cracker Speak!
In preparing this series on Personal Responsibility, I have come face-to-face with my own sweet reluctance to become personally accountable.
What Do I Mean? It's About the Poor Old Me Syndrom---a.k.a. SELF-PITY
While working various Joe-Jobs, I've attracted into my field of existence that peculiar critter --- The Manager. Or the Assistant Manager, Supervisor, Assistant Supervisor...and so on.
Whatever karma-gravity we have in our lives, most of us will meet another human being who will become The Boss. Until that moment in time, you probably didn't even know this person existed.
But now you are working a job, and that job comes with a person who will be your boss.
You might be thinking that every boss also has a boss, and eventually you are gonna run out of bosses. So that will be the boss of all the bosses.
When you work for a company, you're gonna notice how your own fear keeps you in line. It is breath-taking what you're gonna do for a low-buck hourly wage. Especially if they gonna have some added benefits in the deal...like dental, medical, prescription drugs, disability and maybe some profit sharing.
You are gonna be told what shifts you have to work, and what days you get off. And when you are working, there are gonna be lots of rules to follow.
As a result, you gonna definitely be shaking that tree, Boss.
And at one of the low-buck jobs that I work, I have a buddy...one bleep of a great guy---AND he makes that joke with me when he's running around, getting the work done.
"I'm shaking that tree, Boss."
It is the ultimate outing of the sheer FACT of being held in the grip of your own cause-and-effect reality.
My buddy would much rather NOT be working that low-buck job. But there he is, working it.
NOT because he wants to, but because he needs the money. And it's about the ONLY job he can find. AND that is definitely because of what has gone on with his own exercise of personal choice...and this little thing called personal responsibility.
What's this got to do with MY Personal Responsibility?
Link to source ===> https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Personal_responsibility
Maybe you can relate to how difficult it is to FINALLY come to terms with the idea that YOU are personally responsible for the way your life has turned out.
It'd be so much easier if you could slag-off the responsibility onto someone else...wouldn't it?
I LOVE this quote, "I am a victim of society!"
And this may well be true.
Here is a link to an interesting article about sloughing off the blame for your anti-social penchants: https://accordingtohoyt.com/2013/05/15/victims-of-society/
As I started to look around online at the idea of becoming personally responsible...I encountered an entirely NEW form of the highly intoxicating Blame Game.
It is best described as Victimhood Culture. Yes, this is the latest and greatest method of side-stepping the immense power of becoming intensely personally responsible.
So, what is an example of the growing Victimhood Culture?
Link to source: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/09/the-rise-of-victimhood-culture/404794/
What's this got to do with me?
Well, in my previous article about personal responsibility, I gave an example of my solution for the ongoing crisis of ALWAYS running on empty.
And I did mean that in a literal sense. Just go to that article and read what I mean: http://godconsciousnessbook.blogspot.ca/2016/10/running-on-empty-take-back-your-life.html
What happened with my determined and inclusive interception of a chronic problem?
Well, the problem with the problem was and is that I came to accept it as being nearly normal...for this particular branch of my family.
AND I could clearly see that running on empty was not normal.
It was only normal in the context of the mind-set of being stuck inside the no-buck, low-buck tour of life.
And I had my part in the cycle of Running On Empty.
And what's so worser about my solution is that it was MY solution. And it did not resonate with the other people stuffed inside the problem of the nearly always empty gas tank.
It was MY solution.
And it was workable.
But everybody involved had to do it, too.
And it was workable.
But everybody involved had to do it, too.
It also meant that I'd have to end up being the Gas Tank Nazi.
Plus part of my plan included me buying all the gas to get all the car's gas tanks full of...gas.
Well, my Running On Empty rescue plan quickly fell apart. And I have another article in this series devoted to the basic tip I learned from that.
One glaring truth-gift to me?
Trying to change people is a skill, art and science.
Trying to change people is a skill, art and science.
You may NOT get it right the first million times you try to change somebody.
And you may NEVER get it right.
And I have a tendency to want to FIX other people...and the problems they might (or might not!) have.
To side-step this habit, I am practicing NOT wading in with my wonder-filled insights about almost any subject under the sun.
Part of my habit includes feeling responsible for other people and their feelings. And their individual circumstances.
Here is an insight I received via my brother, Ray. He sent me an article about prayer from the Unity Church website. I am absorbing the ideas in the article.
Sure, I am aware of the ideas in the article, and have been for ten-zillion years. After all, I am a GIANT of perpetual enlightenment!
BUT even so...in my clinging, mortal form, filled with self-doubt and trepidation, lest I infuriate the beasts of disapproval...here is a brief excerpt from the article.
You can see one of the stellar ideas that leaps out and silently teaches.
Link to Source: http://www.unity.org/resources/articles/praying-others
I am still not sure what I've learned from my latest bout of trying to fix other people's problems---except I don't like it when "their" problems infect my life with their problems.
Which makes me start to contemplate all the shitty things I've done that have directly impacted other people, places, creatures and things.
And that brings me back, full circle, to this AMAZING idea of how to become personally responsible for my own actions.
There are a few things lumped into this:
- Recognizing when you've bleeped up
- Copping to it---admitting I did wrong
- Making amends---doing something constructive
- Eliminating that latent tendency to bleep-up that particular way
It's like your defects of character don't want to be changed. They are quite comfortable where they've been...so if'n you want to change them, they are going to do their level best to morph into some sly imitation of what they used to be.
Here is an example of what I mean:
I recently became aware of the fact that I am often guilty of being passive aggressive.
YIKES!
I like to give a term a stern definition---unless I am being all passive aggressive---
Link to Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior
This tendency is one I am now deliberately disrupting---when I catch myself slipping inside the zone of being passive aggressive.
I think, in a way...that passive aggression is a mutation of self-pity. AND it is a bargain made with Victimhood Tendencies.
The disconnect for me is found in the heart of my personal quest for being self-sufficient and self-responsible.
Now don't get your knickers in knottedness.
I think we all NEED each other.
Each one of us adds to the brew.
Besides, I NEED a crew of admirers to swoon and go, "Ah!" and, "Wow!" and, "Gee, you're so cool, Robbie Bob!" (and so on.)
BUT if I indulge in the aggression of passivity, I get bleeped-up and off-track from my journey into the soul of self-responsibility AND accountability.
What I am learning from my jump into Warped Speed?
Well, that I cannot FIX other people.
And that is part of self-responsibility.
Yes, I can help other people...but I have to help myself, too.
There is such a thing as the world-famous Drowning Pool.
This is when you try and rescue someone who is drowning. And because of the freaks-of-fate, you become a victim, too.
There is a famous film that captured this cause-and-effect tumble into big trouble. A person is drowning, and another person jumps in to rescue them. That person also gets into big trouble, and so another person jumps in to rescue that person...and so it goes.
Before you know it, there are a whole bunch of people in the water, and they all need to be rescued...because they all wanted to help.
But each rescuer FAILED to look AND think before they leaped...er...lept. The assumption was that they could save the day. Each one underestimated the power of the swirling vortex that had trapped the first person...in the first place.
What it comes down to is that sometimes when you try and help another person, you are going to get sucked in so deep...you are going to need rescuing, too.
The Negative Jackpot?
Becoming self-responsible includes the dizzying concept of NOT always offering yourself as the hero. It sometimes means that you HAVE to let the other person take on the full brunt of their own cause-and-effect jackpot.
Easier said than done?
Maybe.
Oh, my. Am I being passably aggressive when I answer my own question with a "maybe?"
GEE, I do hope you noticed my very funny and deliberate mis-spelling of the term PASSABLY AGGRESSIVE.
Is THAT being passive aggressive by spelling passive passably?
AND NOW a WORD From OUR SOURCE:
This is a good moment to introduce a spiritual solution to some of this tricky search for my own inner source of being personally responsible.
AND I am taking it from The Holy Bible.
This will be expressed by the following simple tips:
- Do NOT Pick on Other People
- Do NOT Spot-light Their Failures
- Stop your temptation to be Holier-than-Thou
OH, and by the way...there are some really good reasons to follow this advice.
Yeah, like what?
I am so glad you asked. Let me rescue you!
REALLY GOOD REASONS to FOLLOW the ADVICE:
It is the arrival into your existence of the specialized cause-and-effect jackpots that come from ignoring the three simple admonitions.
Consequences of being a judgemental dick:
- IF you judge, you will also be judged
- YOU will be judged the way you judge
- YOU will given the same quality and quantity of smarmy, holier-than-thou, nasty, vindictive, ignorant, indifference
You've probably noticed that I have included two versions of the excerpts from The Holy Bible.
This is the fun thing about translations, isn't it?
And that brings me to my closing concept.
In my search for clarity about becoming personally responsible, I have learned that I tend to take on way too much. And so I can't possibly do a really good job because there is always too much to do.
In my search for clarity about becoming personally responsible, I have learned that I tend to take on way too much. And so I can't possibly do a really good job because there is always too much to do.
Learning how to say, "NO" is part of my new personal study program. And learning how to say, "YES!" with rapturous commitment is my new and exciting personal explosion of growth.
I am getting an app that I can download directly into my brain.
It features the direct interface with my cerebral cortex.
It is a risk assessment, personal benefit analyst software that allows me to blissfully go about my day without having to be personally responsible for...YIKES!
All the Best!
Roberto Farmilo
alias
Swami Bob
or
S. Bob
NOTE: I am going to post an AMAZINGLY powerful video for you to watch. The video is going to be brief and POWERFUL. Look for a very simple technique you can use to bridge the responsibility gap.
PS-Make sure you come over and see the new website, and pick up your copy of the most dangerous book ever written.
PLUS...jump on this offer!
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